You may have seen I’ll be playing Daddy Warbucks in “Annie” at Kitsap Forest Theater this spring. I hope you’ll come see it if you can. It opens Memorial Day weekend and runs through mid-June. Doing this show is something of a personal redemption for me.

11 years ago, our family signed up for our 4th show at Kitsap Forest Theater. The combination of theater, community, and camping/outdoors KFT provided had already made it an important part of our family life. This summer, the show was Annie. Our older daughter, Jasmine, was fortunate enough to be cast as Annie, while our younger daughter, Eliana, was cast as Molly. I was excited and hopeful I might be able to play Daddy Warbucks with my own child’s Annie. I worked hard getting ready, and…didn’t get it.

Okay, boo-hoo. NOT getting the role is what you should expect 90% of the time. But I was salty. I’d wandered into the theater thing mostly because of my daughter’s interest, but I was getting an idea I might be good at it, and I’ve always been the kind of person with a lot of confidence that if I wanted something and worked hard at it, I could go get it. This was one of a string of roles I’d wanted and didn’t get, and with each one, I got a little more saline.

That’s not to say I didn’t enjoy the show. Every show at Kitsap, the cast, the atmosphere, is a fantastic experience, no matter what role you are in, and – as a parent, there are few things as fun as being in a show with your children. As I’ve said before, there are many things you can teach your child and many things you can watch your child learn, but there are not many things you can learn alongside your child. In the theater, with every show, you and your children start at the same place, and they have the same opportunities to grow and succeed as you.

But on the inside, yeah, a little salty.

Which is why, when the theater decided to do “Annie” again this year, I felt like I had to try again. Now, to be honest, with two daughters, I have had enough “Annie” to last me several lifetimes. I’ve probably seen it fifty times, and part of me had determined never to even watch it again, let alone perform in it. But I’ve worked hard over the past years to get better at acting, and another part of me wanted to see if I could do now what I couldn’t do before. And I’m not sure if I am better or if I was just lucky, but this time I got the role that I’d been just a tiny bit pissed off about for a little over a decade.

Look, I realize that this is pretty petty stuff. The message of “Annie” that things will work out if we are just optimistic is, in many ways, naive and born of privilege. With horrific violence occurring around the world and assaults on social justice, healthcare, freedom, and the honest scientific inquiry necessary to protect our world occurring in our own country, my own acting journey is so insignificant as to make the time I’m spending writing about it in some ways ludicrous. I will do my best to use my time to fight and resist the dangers we face as a society, and hopefully find ways to express opinions on those dangers that are helpful. But at the same time, all of that has dominated my existence (as I’m sure it has for many of you) over the past months, and spending time reflecting on a personal journey helps deal with the feeling of incessant oppression and depression and provide energy to keep up the more serious work of tikkun olam.

As Albert Camus said, “We have art in order not to die of life.”

And maybe small, self-centered personal victories are necessary for each of us to convince ourselves we have the ability to, or with time and work, can achieve the ability to make more serious change.

And maybe it helps me, and hopefully you, remember that the time and work necessary to achieve the ability to create change, that “Tomorrow”, may not come for a very long time, but even if it seems out of sight, change is always possible.

I hope I will see you at the show. If I do, please let me know you are coming so I can say hi.